triumph of sorrow

Situation!

The magic of the caress
Can sweep your feet off the mattress

The careful whisper
Can lead me to shiver

The slight glimpse I try to catch from the iris
Wishing thee won’t take notice

Away from the hustling and bustling
Your thoughts take me
Leaving me blushing!
The gaze makes by life more interesting
And aye! For more it leaves me gasping

Whatever said and done
Which does not’ involve him Is so soon forgotten
And the succeeding moments are spent on the great human haunt

They say days are good and days are bad
But at the end of the day this world still remains sad
And people accuse you of being mad!

Then there is triumph of sorrow
And cruel thee wishes to embrace morrow!

ME …………..AS MYSELF

ME …………..AS MYSELF

Staying deprived is better than losing something you owned dearly………….thats the lesson life has taught me in many ways. I m too scared to even realize the reality!......but you cant help cursing yourself for behaving in a way you just did ……….anything whether carelessly, shyly which is often mistaken to be rude-crude and all that………thoughtlessly.or even crazyily sometimes…….!the most I regret about is behaving and most importantly when I m talking when I m angry……someone rightly said anger makes human monster….it surely prevents my grey cells and my heart from its regular functioning.and I go totally nuts.!
Well I cant even count the incidents that happened when I was really angry and I fired many people without thinking and obviously never apologized it!.............but my sorry lies in my regret!........
Conscience is actually very very strange but cant even

DIGNITY MAKES DISABLED BEYOND ABLED!

DIGNITY MAKES DISABLED BEYOND ABLED!




Strange are life’s ways!........and though I m just 20 I have actually realized this totally. Its full of surprises or should I say shocks!........i have gained things I craved for most and lost it in due time which sometimes felt like it never existed and I never owned it anyways! .
I have to rush to the college and I can’t even count how many times I had run carrying my 5kgs bag tried to match the cheetah speed! And then when I make it its like I have reached the mount Everest surpassing all the many hardships (like the massive crowd on the platform and stairs ,,,defying them …….sometimes trying to run in my heel shoes etc). But there are little things and some observations in life that help you learn some cruel and sometimes bitter sweet realities of life!
There is a hawker who supposedly sells hanker chiefs in the train …………I want you to picture him. He is totally laden with a thick sparkling bracelet, fingers filled with gold and neck too follow suit……….but he had no forefeet!..............yup only thighs but the dignity in this eyes sparks in the sweat on his brow ………..and man he is such an inspiration!
When I was just getting into this inspirational and totally sentimental mood…………..I came back to reality when a man young, with fully functional body…came begging towards me………….such is life dearies

NEW BLOOM

Life plays strange game
There is no one actually whom you can blame
A smile shimmers on the lips when thee came
But before I could act something reminds me I m foolish and tame

I can see it in my reflection
Though I would never make such confessions
My comrades always tease about it in our discussions
Life is nothing but your percussion
I don’t want to make crazy assumptions
But cant free myself from it’s imagination

When I think about it I can’t help feeling shy
It’s like crazy butterfly
In the pristine clear blue sky
u think the leap is over
but it says its has just commenced my dear!.......my dear

helpless!

LETHARGIC!.....................


My life has ceased
Or my life from me has, someone just seized
All fears vanished
I don’t fear loss
Nothing left to lose
But I myself want to get lost
The tears have drained
My feelings have strained
The soul has dried
The sentiments buried
The sun has gone
And so has moon
Only stars remains to witness my doom
Death of peace
Perish of hope
Please make me free
That’s all is my plea
I want to say it’s a curse
Now that the bubble has burst
My bereavement and casualties cannot be reimbursed!!
Please, please I cajole
Bring back my peace of soul!

end ..................

END


Broken and scattered fell my mirror
Into million pieces depicting my error

The sun has a glorious presence in the sky
I can’t feel its warmth I don’t know why?

The gigantic waves are hungry and bold
They devour my entire sweet world

The blood is sterilized
My vein are purified

Every place looks like a graveyard
Only skeleton remains nothing precious left to guard

Stood there, part of his mockery
For this I don’t blame anybody

It has inundated me all over like a parasite
On my body and soul I now hold no right!

I want his bliss of a sort
Hush!Its just remains a thought
But the winter stays
And I dream away……………………..

FOUND?,,,,,,,,,,,,............................,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

FOUND?

sometimes i feel i'm so lost,
and i dearly pay my error's cost.
everytime i think i found you,
then you disappear even further into the blue.
why do i have to live my life this way,
why do you hold, the words you want to say?
my heart here sits still like bitten by frost
coz without you my existence is "LOST"

stupid .....................................

Remote Control or Controlling the Remote!



Strange as it might appear its but this story is not my crib’s own but I bet every one can relate to this! They say science & technology has changed everything and broadens man’s horizon and boy I couldn’t agree more. But the greatest invention is this 2alpabhet popularly known as “T.V”!
My little sibling courtesy our monstrous neighbor (a little 6th std gal) and her equally pervert friends (not meaning it literally but take it in lighter note) has brainwashed to watch the saas bahu sagas which she doesn’t want to miss so a time of 9.00pm to 10p.m which for me is like hellish hell! I don’t know what the architect of this soggy saas bahu drama derive by making women viewed as a literal bitch ,making them married so seasonally like changing season ,and yes I forgot the most importantly the re re re re re………………………………..re-incarnation of the various characters and obviously the mega generation leap .can we get sensibly knowledgeable realistic show for a change!
For my disgust towards these shows I have been often criticized and called an “anti- Indian or even sometimes “American”! I love watching knowledgable stuffs like the discovery natgeo or perhaps travel and living !
Obviously music channel are like daily fodder to me . I enjoy it to the core …………………..which I cant explain
I don’t meet many people with the same psychology and I end up searching for bakhras to tell them the stories! I have always found woman around me quite boring, very often I don’t get their discussions. so I have often be tagged as the reserved or imbecile by many woman! ( I have always had my share of loyal interesting and rational friends …………thank god for that though)
Their choice of movies, music, ethics, and attitude are so fake and boring to me. I sometimes think that I should appreciate and respect others choices……………..which I think I do but do they reciprocate!
The predictable dramas are so not me ………………………
Do Watching English Hollywood or European movies ,or sitcoms ,listening to European music ,reading a foreign author books makes u a lesser Indian ,less patriotic?...........................if that’s what ur judgments is I give a damn to it!
Patriotism goes beyond the songs u listen to, the movies u watch the books u read …………..its in ur values ur emotions it in ur soul its in ur breath its in ur blood
And I think the biggest thing in the world is human .its universal so I think its time to merge with the other world and stop calling us “anti Indian”!

reiterate.................................!

Reiterate!.................


Staring at the sunshine
Trying hard not to blink
Forget about blinking
Soon I m gonna go blind
Its have always so been there
But u always fails to take notice
O God I really don’t know why
I always end up giving it another try


Miles are getting longer
The closer I get to you
Looks like I m chasing time again
The truth gives me a lot of disdain
But still I can’t contradict or cease the feelings running in my veins
Worst in this pain I get a different kind of gain!

Now everything seems like a dream
I hope you come out make me sheen!

felone thats what love is!

Felone……………that’s what love is!




Oh GOD this is black magic
Or this is a spell, a real dark trick

It’s a blessing in disguise they say
No no! It’s a clear illusion at bay

I felt something warm coming out of my eyes
It’s as pure and pristine as the morning dew before the sunrise

But the more I run away its bound to grow more
I so wish it would evaporate this rheumy soon and evanescent go to its shore

I love and hate the same time that’s the irony
Unsychronization has given it the harmony!

I wanted to write a idyll
I wanted to tell it all
But suck the time is over
And my doom has already drowned!

again again again..................................

i aint so negative but i m not optimist either i like writing sad stuff




I fall and rise just to fall back again…
The more I fall, the taller I stand again…
Each day in darkness, I loose to gain…
All I love ends in pain…I
now walk to change my fate with fain…
So the night now falls on my disdain…
All I stand for will not be vain…
Friends become foes like a traitor becomes a thane…
I try to understand love but it is a difficult terrain…
What more can I do but feel the strain…
Would my words and legacy endure and sustain…
It is something that tires my brain…
Let me free; release me from this chain…
The torment I face for my sacrifice is inhumane…
My ambition tells me again and again…
One chance to immortality and never again…

enigma

Millions of things cross my mind everyday
but its u who’s thought never stray.

Hope is the word I call my best friend
yet I know there is gloom all the way with loads of bumps and bend.
Lost I am to such an extent that I have no track of my present.
Wandering in the wilds with no end for miles I look for the enigmatic tangent. Incessant this journey has become rubbing the grey reality every time I try to ascent.

Rawness of the road now seems like cashmere
and all I’m left with is an arid mirage of tear.

Such inexorable is your quest that horizons
in heaven I’ll measure from depths to crest me crimson me crimson!

what?

People frm every walk of life
Envisage victory and strife
But at some point u find
Tardiness in ur life and mind
Your life stops and comes to an end
And u are in oblivion with nothing to fight for or defend
Anything may stimulate it
Personal loss or a jobles status maybe fit
But such a break from your daily buzz
Lets u rethink on your deed with not much fusst
hen u realise that all those painstaking days
With pangs of emotion ,joy and anger has left u frail
Making u maudlin and in a state of enigma
U wail out unconsciously 'Oh Ma...'
Then u wonder y u were ever born
Is it to end up like this ,hopeless and forlorn???
U ponder over your contribution to the world
Then as u go deeper to the murky mind,u even question the existence of such a world
But human mind is often a monkey
It jumps and hops towards success and it's key
As guinea pigs we go on and on
thru the tedious cycle of life rite from the time we were born
We never know our way nor our destination
But man goes on with God as prime stimulation
Realise that life isn't constant dying and learn to honour fraternity
And indeed life is a "gift snatched frm eternity"

seeking life for life

Seeking life for life!



Symmetry is always the need
Ironically today things begin with a cheat

Solitude is great company
When it’s around who needs anybody

Proportion has lost what it had meant
So don’t pass any vague judgment

Clarity is a virtue which cent people can’t see
Many gestures don’t epitomizes or exemplifies what a man’s all about, me think

Past is past
What’s done is done
What’s said cannot be taken aback
But best part is after today there’s tomorrow
So cheer up babes you can start anew,
So chuck all your sorrow!


I can make it through the day
I can fake it okay
I just smile and pretend
And I tell myself I’ll be alright

Eternal bliss is actually eternal mystery
It’s like a sweet dream which never actually exists

So let the conquest begin me say
For solace, salvation and lets shoo gray

Begin with ignorance……….. yes ignorance of diplomats
Haaaah! Looks like life is all set to search my conquest

confessions

Confession!

Me don’t know what this search is
But I have already started so me cant back out of it

Emotions is what life is all about
Then there is greed hunger envy and obviously proud

Love is the most divine of them all
But ironically it lets to all the ill emotions quoted above
U even doesn’t come to know when you have fallen!

Surely gravity is not the reason for this fall
Perhaps some mysteries cannot be resolved

Oh! For his appearance you wait, wait and wait
But when he shows up you shy away, unmet

What to say what to do you think, think all day
And when its time for the execution ………predictably you run away!

Oh! This adulthood seems like a burden for sure
Coz u are conspicuous of other’s judgment u procure

Childhood was so much better of course
Coz u care a damn for others prejudices that follows

Feeling shall be feeling
It’s the law of nature to fall
But I didn’t want an anti-gravitational fall!

But now that I have fallen in the trap
I want this secret to unwrap!

But I can’t even see him in his eye
Oh god why people in love are so shy!

mystery mystefied

My little house calm as ever
In this town of endless wonder.
To stay here, or to wander
Sprawling streets astir, I wonder.
Around the flame wings aflutter,
And spinning globes around the star.
Swirling blazes, or a deep cold
Point at its core, I wonder.
Pulsating around Eye of Calm,
A poem, a whirlpool, a storm,
Dancing Darvish, prayer wheels' whirr,
And beads of the seer, I wonder.
I wonder, forever wonder,
Like a mirror in a mirror.
Is there an end, and at the end
An end? Forever I wonder.

muzzzzzzzzzzzzicccccccccc

IT’S ALWAYS ABOUT MUSIC!

They say you cannot escape music whether you are lazily lying on you bed and listening to the rain falling on the moist foggy windowpane ,or even the hummmmmmmmmmmm hummmmmmmmmmmmm of the washing machine or for that matter even when someone’s walking up to your room you can hear the swift sound of their paws!
Its every where like the blue sky follows you everywhere u go! Or perhaps your shadow which follows you EVERYWHERE (a la Peter pan)!
Well me a 20year old now but my taste in music has matured with every passing year it’s as if it is providing an “evidence” of my attitude and perception towards music ,art ,culture and most importantly “life” with each passing year.
When was in my 8th standard I still remember running home as quickly as possible from my tuition classes to catch a glimpse of my favorite show “Mtv most wanted” hosted my favorite Rahul Khanna …I used to really find him cute ,,,,,,,…………………but strange as it might appear I was a confused adolescent( emerging kind) girl who didn’t really like the idea of finding any guy cute ,………….so I used to never admit that I liked anybody ……..for that matter even the super cute Tom Cruise……………but it was the music ( which was requested by audience ) which formed the base for my quest for music. I started on listening to ( for which I was badly teased by a couple guy friends) boy bands backstreet, boy zone, nsync, code red ………those young blue eyed boys with photogenic faces and cute smiles who would churn out mushy lovey dovey lyrics ………….
“Although loneliness has always being a part of me I m giving my life in your hand…..”!
I think during this time or perhaps before that I came in tremendous influence of radio (the radio was not as popular as it is today. there was only 1 radio channel popularly known as air fm 107.1 fm

) I was suddenly influenced to other genre of music like the Latino style ….santana, Julio eglasius and so on , classics like Beatles, rolling stones, Tina turner; Elton john( I m ashamed of the fact that whenever the song sacrifice hit the top position during a countdown on valentine’s day ……I would wonder what so great in the song to deserve that position)and most importantly to a genre of music popularly known as alternative rock piston, nirvana and so on .........and superlative music churned out by the great pink Floyd !
then came a time when I even started appreciating hip hop and punk rock .and obviously band like u2 jonbonjovi Bryan Adams john Mayer steffani dido the latest breed like pharell William,bedingfield , flipside , maroon5 and so on…………….(I can go on with this list )
I was never very fond of loud bollywood numbers which meant nothing but had beats suitable for vigorous hip shaking…..though I like some of those club hits! I was always
For classics and ghazals still remember when we were kids and we (as in my family ….my parents and siss) played antakshani with my family we would never allow “ch” to come to my papa coz he would eventually end up singing the entire song “chupke chupke raat din” ……...by famous maestro ghulam ali! And us totally literally dosing off to sleep! But now I totally adore ghazals and classics (both Indian and western too)
I don’t know what your definition of music is but I have surely not found mine!
And I can’t live without it either! So in a conquest to search it …………………listen more and closer you shall be to !....try it people its worth it for sure!

search

Beauty lies in your eyes,
Don't search it anywhere!
Everything is near by you,
Why are you wandering..
.Here and There?
Feel the presence
And be the happiest personIn your life
or lead the life ofSearching everywhere....
Without getting anything at all real sheer!

nirvana

I have lost the track of time,
I have lost the faith that guide,
opportunities have ceased,
no reson to put up a flight,
no words can drawn a fear,
no love can bring back happiness,
a hope still lies to go back again,
fear envelopes the destiny held,
With nowhere to go,
and noone to trust on,
fears drowns me inside,
Forgotten i have trusting,
Lost i am,Lost alone,
With nooneto Care,
but still heart search for celestial happiness
and love and trust and faith
and if nirvana actually exists
oh GOD take me there
plz take there!

THE GREAT WESTERN COMMUTE

THE GREAT WESTERN COMMUTE





I have, for the past 5yrs have experienced the magical and “surviving” experience of the great western commute by which I mean the railways. During this I have actually seen all sorts of characters and personality whether the “daring” types, the “fightercock” type , “ the singer” type, the “cunning” type, the “first timer type”, the “non-stop chit chatting”, the “mind your own type”
But the great features of the commute are as follows:
ENTERTAINMENT: the nonstop antaskshani ., the cock fights between the commuters, the discussion of the latest twist in their favorite Ekta Kapoor serial, or for that matter the discussion of the current spicy news .( courtesy: the great new booming trend of getting the publicity by whatever means whatsoever like a la Rakhi Sawant and many more like her……….)
EXERCISE: the various postures we have to maintain during the journey which includes various yogic asana like standing on one foot , standing on someone’ else’s foot , raising both your hands to reach the for the support ,and obviously your lucky you could get the precious fourth seat you try to manage your butt entirely in 3sq inch area!
PATIENCE AND PERSEVERENCE: if your great or strong will person you could mange to grab a book and manage to read it or perhaps catch up on your nap ……………………………..if not atleast you could pretend to do so!
SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST: who says Darwin’s theory doesn’t hold good it surely does in case of at least setting on a voyage from surburbs to church gate!
THE PERSON WITH TRICKS ALWAYS TICKS: if you want to travel in a really crowded train with sheer ease baby then rack your brains and make use of quick wits …………of instance some “hair clip and bindi selling ladies “….shout things like “machi hai machi hai”…..and you can see the ladies scattering hither thither with disgust obviously holding a handkerchief clogging their nose!
EXTRA SOCIALING : once in a while you end up meeting aunties who give you special attention ………like she is your long lost relative smiling gently at you( the smile is a sure trademark of them and a danger signal) enquiring as to which college you go to …….where you stay ….how many siblings you have …………..and then begins the real discussion “ I have a daughter just like you………………..and you end up listening to it all”!
SOCIAL EQUALITY: by this I mean that it doesn’t matter if you’re traveling in the 1st class or the second class you end up getting sandwiched in both the cases!
DARE-DEVIL ACTION: people who commute by virar local ( those are the most tolerant and patient people ever ……..i mean it) or have even managed to have a glimpse of this astonishing local …will surely know what I m talking about ……forget john-woo movie’s action stunt or the slick Hollywood action stunt …….or even our desi akshay kumar stunts …the stunt or should I say “ the epoch breaking” facets they perform without any protection or even guidance are class apart!
IT’S A SEASON THING: its always the seasons that make the changes doesn’t it ? in rainy season courtesy the south west monsoon winds u can see some astonishing miracles happening for example the road (tar black …mind you) disappears and you can see the mini sewage lake and when you try to manage to reach your home …….you can see different thing swimming “merrily”
I m sure every mumbaikar can surely relate to this in their commuting via trains and those who haven’t how I pity them!........................................they really miss something precious in their lives !
Though I go the wrong direction but surely once upon a time I had boarded the great virar local!